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Girls and cars. Things y’all should know

09.02.2015

I HAVE the incredible privilege of getting behind the wheels of a number of extremely fancy machines. Some people call it a job, but to me, it’s a dream come true. I adore cars and everything about them and I can safely say that I love cars, ice-cream and women – but not necessarily in that order!

Like most guys, I have a habit of exchanging feet each time I open my mouth, especially around my female counterparts, mainly because one of the best ways I can describe a car is to compare it to girls and vice versa. Ladies, listen up because I’m about to let you in on a very big secret. Guys who like cars are attracted to girls who like cars. Sounds simple but it’s not, let me explain.

I found myself at the local watering hole one Friday night and on this occasion I had keys to a BMW M5. It didn’t take long before word got around that I was its driver and I was soon at the centre of a group of fascinated guys discussing its attributes.

During the course of the evening, a girl came up to me and asked: “Is that black car yours?” to which I responded that indeed I was the driver. She then launched into an anecdote about how much she loved fast cars and driving fast and when I asked what was the fastest car she had ever driven or been driven in, she answered confidently: “A Nissan something.” Make a mental note of this important lapse on her part as I will refer to this a little later.

She then asked if we could go outside to look at the car. I took her outside and what she said next made me question her supposed love for cars. As she stood there admiring the M5 she uttered the one word which, without fail, kills any moment of any conversation with any guy. She said: “Cute.” Gasping and fighting to keep my voice level I managed to respond: “It’s not cute, it’s 400-odd kW of mantastic thrills,” before walking away.

Okay, so you’re asking yourself what went wrong. I’ve already concluded that I’m a rude, insensitive son-of-a-such-and-such, but hear me out because in a space of 20 minutes she had committed three irrevocable offences known to men.

(1) She had not known the name of the ‘black car’ when she first approached me. She should have asked if the black BMW M5 was mine;

(2) She couldn’t remember the full name of the car she drove in. Forgetting the name of an experience she had been so enthralled by, didn’t seem possible to me;

(3) You simply don’t call a mans car cute.

Later that week, I visited the same establishment, this time driving the Golf GTI 35 edition, a car which holds a special place in my heart. The GTI too, began to rouse up the locals, as car talk began once more.

From somewhere behind the wall of beer mugs piped up a squeaky voice: “The Ford ST is better than the GTi because it has more kilowatts.” The wall miraculously parted to reveal an attractive lady who not only had been brave enough to join the skirmish, but also knew that the Ford ST had more power than a GTi and had used the correct terminology!

I was hooked and took it upon myself to spend the rest of the evening, exclusively attempting to convert her into a GTi-lover. So what did she do right? Well first off she spoke my language. It’s very important to us guys that ladies are aware of the topics of interest to us. Trust me, nothing makes us feel more important than talking about cars.

Secondly, she knew the specifics about a certain car and wasn’t afraid to let me know her opinion.

One of the keys to any man’s heart is a solid conversation. So do some research, be it music, politics, cars or sport. It’s not difficult to please us and once you have our attention, it’s pretty much your game from thereafter.

Article written by Justin Jacobs
09.02.2015
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